Monday, May 17, 2010

I {used to} Heart Peanut Butter

Once upon a time I really loved peanut butter. I mean, head over heels loved it.

As a not so big meat eater, peanut butter was a big part of my daily diet.

Peanut butter and banana sandwich was often my breakfast {or lunch}. PB&J was a favorite. Peanut butter with carrots, celery or apples was a favorite snack. Occasionally eating peanut butter out of a jar was a secret of mine. I loved Peter Pan peanut butter, or Trader Joe's natural peanut butter. I would buy 3 or 4 jars of the TJ's PB at a time, to hold me over to the next trip there.

And the sweets - oh how I loved peanut butter with chocolate. Reece's was definitely a favorite. Chocolate and peanut butter pie. And of course just peanuts by themselves - Snickers or ice cream with chopped nuts on top.

When Luke's reaction happened, it was a complete shock to me. Peanut allergies don't run in our family. My four year old was almost as big of a peanut butter lover as I was. He had recently discovered how much he adored my beloved peanut butter and banana sandwiches. So when Luke's reaction happened, I felt almost betrayed by the peanuts. How could they do that to my sweet boy? How could something that was as seemingly innocent, and tasty, as peanut butter put him into such distress? Oh peanuts, how I despise you now.

All peanuts/tree nuts are gone from our house. I occasionally still find something {such as the Wilton cake decorating products I found this weekend} hiding in a cabinet. In the trash you go! You're not welcome here anymore. When I see nut products anywhere, my heart immediately skips a beat. It doesn't matter if it's me walking through the produce section with Luke and we happen to pass a display of peanuts. Or if it's just me seeing a picture of a sundae with nuts on top. My immediate, not even thinking about it, reaction is - BAD!

I'd like to say that I haven't had anything with peanuts in it since his reaction. I'd be lying though. About a month after the reaction, my husband and I went to dinner and a movie for our anniversary while my parents watched the boys. That day, I bought a pack of Reece's PB cups at the grocery store, and hid them to sneak into the movie. I felt like a villain when I bought it, like I was committing a crime. During the movie, I opened the package and immediately felt guilty. I was eating something that could be life threatening to my son. How could that be ok? I can honestly say I didn't enjoy it much. When we left the theater, I threw the wrapper away, and couldn't stop thinking about how I had peanut residue on my hands and mouth. Even though I wouldn't be seeing Luke until the next afternoon, I felt horrible.

1 comment:

  1. I have one word for you: Sunbutter. It costs about $6 a jar, and it's worth every penny. If you've got Wilton candy molds, get some Enjoy Life chips and start making safe Reese's. (Your son will probably love them, but, really, it's for you!)