If it is an act of self-care to decline invitations for awhile, or if you’re just not up for taking a vacation that first year, then so be it.Yep, that's definitely me! I find it hard to accept invitations for certain playdates right now. There was one that we were going to go to this week where a mom mentioned bringing a PB&J for her kid to eat before she had to take him to school. The rational side of me knew that it probably wouldn't have been an issue. I would have kept Luke away from the child, and that would have been the end of it. But the scared mama in me said NO! Obviously I can't always control what food items will be around Luke, and there will be times that I'll have to deal with it. But I just wasn't ready for that, and it felt good that I still have control over it.
Square Two is characterized by dreaming and scheming. At this point, you’ve truly acknowledged that the old life is gone forever. Here, parents have absorbed the initial shock and they wander how they will make the new life work.
I have moments of this. I don't know if I've truly acknowledged it, but I have come to understand and realize that the old, more carefree as far as food goes, life is gone. And I definitely wonder about how to make this new, less carefree, life work. I do plenty of scheming on how to make playdates safe and fun. How to handle going out to dinner with food allergies and for it to not turn into an emergency room trip.
I do wonder though, if I will return to square one in the future, when Luke is older. Right now I have what is pretty close to complete control over his safety. I'm a stay at home mom; he's with me 24 hours a day. He's just starting to walk, so when we're out with friends, he doesn't stray far from me. He's a mama's boy anyway, so he would stick close to me either way right now. But what about the future? What will a year from now, when he's 2 1/2 and wanting to run with his friends and be more independent, bring? What about 2 years from now when he's ready to start pre-school? I'll again be faced with dealing with new things. Grieving that I can't let him go and do those things without worrying about his well being.