Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Dreams

It's funny how our brains handle stress. Dreams have always interested me. Most dreams have a reason behind it, even if it doesn't make sense at the time.

Last night I dreamed that Luke had a bad food reaction, and in my dream I couldn't find the epi pen. I woke up with my heart pounding and in a panic. I think it came from me deciding yesterday to start storing my bag (which holds the epi pens) in the hall closet. It's not far from the kitchen, but for a split second I worried and reminded myself to tell my husband where it is being kept, just in case. Of course I forgot to tell him, so I guess it was my brain's way of reminding me.

When Luke's anaphylactic reaction happened, I didn't dream the first night. I was too exhausted as we got very little sleep in the hospital. The second night was the same, no dreams - I think I was still recovering. For several nights after that though, I barely slept. One crazy dream after another. They weren't related directly to what happened. They involved weird things being in the room with me (ever seen the Saw movies? The weird puppet guy? Yeah - he was "in" my room, peeking over the edge of the bed). Each dream ended with me jumping out of bed, and either running for the bedroom door to escape or ripping the covers off of the bed trying to find whatever was freaking me out (mice, snakes, bugs, etc), before I realized that it was just a dream.

They eventually stopped, but in the couple of weeks leading up to Luke's endoscopy they started again. I can remember waking up from one, and telling my husband, I just want the dreams to stop so I can sleep. When it happens, it's like a constant bad movie being played in my head. Makes it impossible to get a good night's sleep.

This is just an example of how something like dealing with a child's severe food allergy can affect you in more ways than you would imagine.

2 comments:

  1. OMG. I thought I was the only one who did the whole "tearing the covers off the bed/continuing the dream into waking" thing. I did it for MONTHS after Ian was born - the stress of his birth, the not eating, the losing weight, the tongue tie, the physical problems. I can't even tell you how many times I woke Jason up looking for Ian in the bed - even though Ian was sound asleep in his crib.

    The huge amounts of cortisol that stress floods your body with is no joke. HUGS. If there is ever anything you need, hon - let me know. I'm just a few streets away.

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  2. Aw, thanks :) And it helps to know that I'm not the only one that does that! Ryan finally got to witness it, and thought I was having some kind of break down.

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